World’s Most Annoying Fucking Commercials – Part I

I’ve always despised Verizon’s commercials. In fact, I have expressly forbidden myself from contracting any of their overpriced services as a result of their hyper-irritating, cringe-worthy advertisements. Their latest installment from the annoying hipster series is no exception. I’ve often likened advertising to trying to reinvent the wheel: everything’s been done and there’s seemingly nothing new under the marketing sun. Threadbare marketing “strategies” are recycled by almost every ad agency and it’s understandable to an extent. Imagine trying to create original material for a fucking toilet bowl cleanser whose main selling point is a flexible neck….or how about all season radials? It can’t be easy so when someone creates something truly groundbreaking, it’s admirable. So this begs the question…if you can’t make something witty or humorous, why annoy your audience instead??

I can’t quite decide which of these grotesque characters I would torture first, but Thomas is probably ahead by a hair. It’s like they’re both begging me to break their smirking hipster faces but Thomas would likely have the misfortune of finding his head in my vice first. Having said that, Daryl’s vacant stare resembles the look that might flash across his face just before my hands encircled his corpulent, beardless neck. I’m no hipster and even I’m offended by this tripe. Nothing witty or humorous here. No, just pure fucking annoyance and irritation courtesy of Verizon and the collection of mental pygmies who created this dumpster fire of an ad campaign.

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